July 2, 2012
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| My view whilst journaling |
Today is my first to be alone and I'm quite excited to spend the day in communion with the Lord and gathered in my thoughts. I'm on a park bench underneath a willow tree overlooking a beautiful river surrounded by fancy buildings and filled with ducks. I just dropped Katie off for her internship -first day- she was so nervous! But I know she will do great. My hand is already cramping up from from all the kayaking we did yesterday. My muscles are so tired!
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| Katie's face, expressing her feelings! |
I've never been more tired at night, but never been more excited to wake up in the mornings than I am on this trip. I'm learning to appreciate things I didn't think I'd miss so quickly--the community of believers is the quickest to notice. Staying with Katie and the Holts is wonderful, but since I've lived with Katie Chung, I've always had community around me. Moreover, there is a noticeable absence of churches here. I saw one "Gemeinschaft der Evangelischen Kirche" when I was in Luebeck, but otherwise their presence is severely lacking. There are beautiful cathedrals, which are tourist attractions, history museums, and scarcely used. When they are, they are not gospel-centric and are missing grace. It's a very strict "stiff-pewed" religion, as Scott put it. He said religion is really "dead" here and was quite surprised to hear that I was going to a Bible camp. Andrea, who didn't seem to have any religious convictions, even said to me when I mentioned my future "career" that, "Germany really needs some Missionaries." This coming from a native German who I don't have reason to believe is born again (though I cannot judge hearts) is astounding and convicting!My heart is softened even more. The people here do seem quite stiff and serious on the outside--no one smiles, the trains are quiet; but I also think it's just a shell and part of their culture to be so self-preserved. When I wished the guy on the train "Gesundheit" after he sneezed, he immediately started talking to me. I believe people are just fine and open with talking, they just don't always initiate it. I must initiate.
Last night as I was falling asleep, I felt the Lord speaking to me, whispering to keep watch over the weight and importance I place on things of Germany and the culture. It's so easy for me to become infatuated and entangled with the things of this land without keeping sight of Who and what truly matters. It's an easy trap for me to fall into and worship the "Germany-god" and not the God who reigns over all, including Germany. Take the world and give me Jesus!
"Hallelujah, God is is here! Open up your eyes and the splendor of His majesty; the beauty of the mighty King." ...even here!
God is no more or less here in Germany than He is in the U.S., but I've felt quite distant from Him because I haven't been able to spend time with the Lord in large, solitary amounts since I arrived. I praise Him for today, where I have all day to spend soaking in His presence. I praise God for safe travels, language retention, teaching me to be flexible, to lean on God and trust. Father is teaching me so much. I can feel preconceived notions melting away--my control issues (especially in the car), my need to always feel clean and pretty, the thought that a bed should be big and comfy--really a cushion on the ground is just fine! I'm okay with minimal makeup and sloppy hair--they'll become so anyways. God is teaching me to find beauty in His creation (though it's not very hard to appreciate here).
Germans really feel the need for Jesus, they just don't know it. They all want to be happy--they are so health conscious (organic food, market fresh, swarmed to the parks where everyone is jogging, speed walking, bike riding, fit-centering). Life coaches and emotion-coaches are quite normal here (I've seen ads everywhere!). Everyone wants to make a positive impact on the environment by recycling, being energy efficient, using bikes & public transportation. There are seminars on how to improve your life and be happy by keeping your outlook, "in the now" or "in the moment." It sounds good on the outside, but really it is just teaching people not to think about the future--what happens after death. All of these things are good things, but they are filling up the aching and longing that desires more. It cannot be satisfied with anything but Jesus.
My adventures today (thus far!) include another beautiful park, a million beautiful side streets with the most incredible upscale architecture, wandering the streets of Eppendorf, enjoyed a coffee in "World Coffee" along with reading (George Mueller's Autobiography) and some Jesus, ventured around some second-hand shops, a grocery store, a really cool book store with free coffee and hot cocoa, ate some Eiss, found more awesomeness in a huge park, und jetzt moechte ich eine Nickerchen!
